• Priscilla


image: Ray Lee

What is it home to me ? Well home to me is a whole lot of things, especially a lot of feelings.

Home is actually the place where I can express myself the most, where I can be myself without anyone judging me.

As I was trying to disentangle myself from the messy feelings I have for what I call my home, it just struck me what was the most important one: home is the only place where I am comfortable walking with my bare feet, because is the only place I trust.

I like to think that when I walk inside in my house I enter in my deepest comfort zone, no masks allowed, no lies can be said inside. That’s why when it comes to my home I get all territorial and I find difficult to invite in people I barely know. It’s because I feel like they would break my ecosystem.

Home is the perfect place where you can tell someone you love him, or that you are sorry for something you did or said. Because home is not just a physical place, it’s actually a part of you and the people who live with you. Did you ever ask yourself why when you enter your home you automatically take off your shoes and your coat and most of the things you wore outside? I think it’s because coming inside your house it’s like going inside a sacred place, like a Mosque where you have to take off your shoes. In order to be accepted in, you have to get rid of everything superficial, useless or polluted from the outside world. Even the relationships inside your house are the strongest ones, because your parents and your brothers and sisters, as much as you can hate them, are the only ones who really know you.

Home for me is also the people. They don’t’ necessarily have to actually live with me, but there are certain people that makes me feel like I’m home wherever I am. My grandma, my mom, my boyfriend, some of my closest friends, these are all people that allow me to be myself without having the fear to be judged or rejected. Those people are the most precious of your life, giving up on them it means give up on your true self.

Home to me is also a feeling. They say home is the place your feet can leave, but your heart simply can’t. No matter how many places you call home, each time you’ll walk into your room when you were little it’s impossible not to feel something. I wonder if this feeling has an actual name. I looked up in the Internet and all I could find was articles about Post-Trip Depression. But I’m not talking about this! I’m talking about the feeling of relief and security that you feel when after a long day in the outside world, you come home and you know you can throw your cute mask away and you can be just yourself, either with your parents, or with your siblings or with your roommates. That’s why it’s important to find a place you really can call home, otherwise you have no rest from being the perfect you.

That’s why everyone, EVERYONE, deserves to have a place called home, where he is free to walk barefoot, free to sing out loud, free to be loved for who he really is. So if you’d let me give you a piece of advice, go find a place you can call home because it’s the most important thing.

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Douglas Carsson is an American artist based in Bristol and today we had a conversation about his work, inspiration and things that are going on in the world. How are you? I'm really good. Just gearin